I'm Dave. This is my story.

Life ain't no bowl of cherries, even for a guy like me. Sure, I have my own Republic, but hell, these days, what wacko doesn't? Used to be that being a despot meant something. You'd led a junta, overthrown a monarchy, orchestrated a palace coup, something like that. But now you got every disgruntled tax cheat and militia-loving psychopath and his brother declaring themselves sovereign citizens of nothing whatsoever, just so they can arm themselves to the teeth and justify their insanity.

Well, my friend, I'm no run-of-the-mill nutball. Honestly, I don't even think I'm all that unbalanced, all things considered. I'm just a regular guy, trying to stand on my own two feet, as Lou Reed once put it. If you're really curious about things like personal details, you need to get a life. But I'll tell you a few things if you're really interested.

The Tale of the Tape

I'm 37 - be 38 on St. Patrick's Day of '01. Middle-age, here I come.

On May 16, 1998, I married the drop-dead gorgeous Carey Elder (now Kelley), unquestionably the best thing I've ever done in my life.

I'm a big guy - 6'2", 220 lbs.

Carey and I are holed up in Austin, at least until the screwheads manage to turn the place into another Los Angeles.

I was born on St. Patrick's Day, in Shamrock, Texas. Obviously, I'm pretty much pure Irish.

For grins, I run (road races), play golf, brew my own beer and watch as much baseball as possible. I played rugby for 10 years, but a gruesome open fracture of my left forearm ended my career on January 24, 1998. If you've a strong stomach, you can see photos of the injury in Dave's House of Pain.

Carey and I have - as of right now - three (3) dogs: Mali, Curtis and Lucy, and a cat called Tutu (after Bishop Desmond).

For money, I write. I'm the Executive Editor at Boating World magazine, the Astronomy columnist for Camping Life magazine, and I freelance whenever I get the chance. Got a mortgage to pay, y'know? If you want to read some of my collected works, visit the Presidential Library.

Other Personal Tidbits

I was born in Shamrock, Texas, while my dad was the head football coach of the Shamrock Fighting Irish.

I graduated from the University of Texas (Hook 'em Horns) in 1985, with a BA in English.

I attended Harvard for a bit, but so did the current president so that suddenly isn't very impressive, is it?

If you're so smitten with me that you just have to offer me a job or indecent proposition, email me.

On to the Presidential Library...

Or...

Back to the Capital of the Republic.